Unpopular Opinion

The Oblivion music video came out, but only on Vimeo. Plus the font they used at the beginning was similar to the one used in Pompeii’s director’s cut video, so I guess that gives me hope that a proper, slightly different one will be released on their Youtube channel.

However, I am not disappointed at all with this one. I really liked it. I think it’s related to the Flaws video. Sophie mourns the death of Dan (who died in Flaws). And if we also try to interpret the song itself, and as Dan had mentioned before, the character could be losing her mind due to the loss but the pain is too much for her to handle, therefore she falls into the state of psychosis and becomes oblivious(?).

I know that the boys weren’t physically there during the filming, but I’m sure their ideas were put into actions. I just really like the fact that Bastille is able to create things that never fails to confuse me and allows me to interpret them the way they appeal to me, and that the band collaborates with such brilliant artists.

#thoughts  #meh  

Yesterday I was called selfish.

Ironic, right? In my previous post I wrote about how selfless I’ve been trying to be especially with the people I love.

And yet, I get called selfish.

That I’m always doing things for myself, that I don’t give a damn about others but myself.

Bullshit.

I can’t blame you, though. People only honor the good things you’ve done when you’re dead, when you’re no longer there to feel good about yourself.

But that’s the thing. I’m trying so fucking hard to make myself feel better while I still have the motivation to stay alive. That is why I isolate myself from all those that might get into my skin and look for what can make me really happy.

"This is supposed to be a group project. Why are you working alone?"

"You are such a loner."

Well you’re an imbecile for not seeing that some people just love to be independent. Being lonely can get depressing, yes. Everybody needs somebody. But I’ve also experienced true happiness by doing things on my own.

I’m sorry if you feel like it’s wrong that I refuse to share the gratification with someone else. And I’m also sorry that I don’t feel like pleasing you anymore. That’s not my responsibility. People should learn to make themselves happy because in the end all they’ll have left is their self and their self-worth.

I can’t say this to you out loud because I have A LOT of respect for you and for who you are, but calling me selfish isn’t going to make feel bad about myself at all. You’ve just given me more reasons to cordon off, build a tougher wall to keep people like you away from bursting my happy bubble.

It feels like I gave so much away that I didn’t leave anything for myself. It’s important to make the people that I love happy, and let them know that they’re very special to me. It’s just funny how I’d always go out of my way to do great gestures for others, but nobody ever did the same thing for me. They say when you give something, don’t expect anything in return. But I think that’s utter bullshit. Because people who give love deserve something back.

I don’t regret giving my love away, though. I just wish I didn’t give it away too much, or that it didn’t go to waste. And I wish someone gave me more than just photographs and mixed CDs. Is that too much to ask?

Maybe no one really cared enough.

Go Skate Day (Ambleside Skatepark)

Donate to the http://amblesideskatepark.com/

West Vancouver // 062114

I decided to watch the movie all by myself, and I knew I was going to survive it because it’s just a movie. I’ve seen tons of films before without the company of others. But as I sat there in the dark theater, I slowly felt this emptiness. There were other people there as well who I assume anticipated the movie for such a long time as much as I did, but I felt alone. I was exceedingly aware of that, of course. I knew I was alone. There was something else: the feeling of being sucked into a chasm of overwhelming sadness. And I know it is rather absurd of me to say something like this. I’m the one who’s not there, after all. But man, it could have been another infinite moment. I guess what I’m trying to say is that it just feels different without all of you.

I just fucking miss you.

#thoughts  #tfios  #meh  

Since nobody really comes to this blog, I thought I’d put it here.

I honestly have no idea what to do anymore. These thoughts came to me when I was drunk last night. I tried to scream it out to the sea, but nothing came out. It’s still bottled up inside. I’ve been a horrible person to pretty much everyone who cares for me.

I’m so sorry Therese that I didn’t know about your surgery and wasn’t able to visit you at the hospital. Just when you needed me most, I let you down and I’m really sorry.

I’m so sorry Liway that up until now, I can’t bring myself up to be completely honest with you. I tell myself that it’s for the best that I keep things from you for now, but I know that in the end you’ll hate me for my decisions. I’m sorry that when I meet you in the hallways, I hug you and smile like nothing’s wrong. I just can’t tell you right now, and I always feel shit when I see you cry and I know this is going to hurt you. I hope you understand. You know that I love you so much.

I’m so sorry Patch for not giving us a closure. I should have given you another chance, but I chose not to in the fear of hurting you and hurting myself. But thank you for everything, in case I forgot to tell you that. Thank you.

I’m so sorry Basco that I’m always annoying you with all the shitiness going on in my life. You deserve better than someone who complains a lot about her life. But I thank you for always being there for me. I will always be grateful to have met someone great like you.

I’m so sorry Kien that I’ve been trying my best but I still end up being a coward.

And to everyone I’ve wronged, I’m sorry.

#thoughts  

Anonymous asked: Where do you study and what degree program are you taking up?

I’m studying at University of St. La Salle and I’m taking up nursing!

In Case I’m Really Leaving

  1. Go on a road trip with friends
  2. Eat chicken inasal as much as possible
  3. Attend the festival in Cadiz or something
  4. Take loads of photos
  5. Influence at least ten people to listen to Bastille
  6. Spend as much time with friends
  7. Ask Joey out …
  8. … or at least try to find out if he’s single or not
  9. Spend my 18th birthday
  10. Tell him the truth in person
My schedule for the second semester is decidedly disgusting, so I had to make it a little bit pretty by using running-Dan as my background. Now I am more likely to survive the semester because of this. Thanks, Dan.

My schedule for the second semester is decidedly disgusting, so I had to make it a little bit pretty by using running-Dan as my background. Now I am more likely to survive the semester because of this. Thanks, Dan.